Hopeful Mistletoes
by kakashikrazy256
Summary: Another heist. Another gem. Another failure. Just how many does that make? He was pathetic. A depressing heist on Christmas Eve might just be fixed with the help of a certain detective. Christmas fic for Poirotcafe forum's themed competition.


**This is for the Christmas competition on the poirotcafe forum. You guys should join! Everyone is fun and welcoming.**

**Warning: TRIGGER WARNING, head canon with Kaito's anxiety attacks. Grammar and spelling mistakes. I am mean to Kid even on Christmas Eve. But since it is the holidays, he'll get some love.**

**Happy Holidays, kids**

"After him!" Nakamori's voice roared over the holiday music blasting from the museum speakers.

Kid's mystical voice rang clearly through the air.

"Don't be such a scrooge, keibu! It's Christmas Eve! Enjoy the holidays~" The magician laughed gleefully as he snapped his fingers. Santa hats appeared in puffs of red and green smoke and fell onto the heads of task force members.

Nakamori's face turned a shade redder than the hat and he ripped it from his head.

"Catching you would be the greatest present I'll ever get, you bastard!"

"Ala~ language like that is what gets you put on the naughty list, Nakamori-keibu. Maybe that's why your wish hasn't come true yet~!" Another red smoke bomb went off, engulfing the entirety of the task force.

Nakamori and his officers found themselves constrained with meters and meters of red ribbons with little Christmas lights. Little glowing stars were placed on top of their heads.

"That son of a..." Nakamori was growling as he struggled against the ribbons that seemed to get more tangled with every jerk of an arm.

"Keibu! Look at that!" One of the officers yelled out, gesturing to the left with his head.

Nakamori turned his head to follow his gaze. He blinked slowly, narrowing his eyes. The disbelief in his expression slowly melted into wry amusement.

"That bastard..." He chuckled and turned to look at his men. They each had a smile on their face.

The hallway in front of them was filled with presents. Streamers and confetti littered the ground. Each gift had a tag addressed to every task force member present tonight. A large plush doll of the Kaitou Kid with mini handcuffs sat on top of the pile. The tag had Nakamori Ginzo scrawled on it.

He sighed. Bah humbug, why the hell not. It was the holidays.

"Once we escape, let's call it a night, men."

"Yes sir!"

* * *

><p>The chilling December wind assaulted his senses as he opened the roof door.<p>

"Uwah~ so cold..." He shivered, flicking his cape with a flourish.

The sky was clear but the thief could see the gray clouds in the distance. Perhaps it would be a white Christmas after all. He thought with a smile.

He looked over to the full moon and his smile disappeared. His gloved hand reached into his pocket shakily. He gripped at the prize of the night. The Mistletoe, a modest sized ruby on a necklace of green emeralds. It was cold to his touch.

He pulled it out and stared down at the priceless gem in his hand.

_Maybe...just maybe..._

He swallowed and looked up at the moon uncertainly; as if asking it a question.

It did not answer him.

He sighed and lifted the gem hesitantly. His breath hitched when the ruby caught a ray of moonlight and glimmered.

He held his arm rigid and didn't dare move. He stared long and hard at the ruby, eyes wide and flickering with hope.

_Please...please..._

_Don't let me fail again..._

Nothing happened.

The moonlight shined onto the red gem and the gem did nothing.

His arm grew slack as it fell back to his side.

"Another failure...huh?" He whispered to himself.

_How many does that make?_

**Too many.** His mind supplied him with the answer.

A shuddering breath escaped his lips and he stumbled backwards against the wall. Anger flared inside of him.

"Why...?" He gritted his teeth and glared at the necklace in his hands.

"Why can you be-why, why can't..." He trailed off, biting his lip.

He couldn't lose control. He was still at heist grounds.

Keep the poker face. He was the Kaitou Kid, he was-

**Pathetic.**

He swallowed and used one hand to grip the other one, trying to stop it from trembling.

_Don't think about it. Don't think about it._

**What? About how much of a failure you are?**

He shook his head rapidly, feeling panic creep into his body when he noticed his heart beating a bit faster than normal.

He didn't want to hear the voice. The voice that always sounded so mocking. The voice that always belittled him every time he had an attack. The voice-

**You disappoint me, Kaito.**

The voice that always sounded like his father's.

It was as if a ghostly hand had pressed down against his chest, knocking the breath out of his lungs.

"D-dad." His voice came out as a rasp and he curled in on himself.

Dad. Fire. Explosions. Gone. Dead. Legacy. Failure. Disappointment.

**What is this? The two hundredth gem? How long have you been chasing after this?**

He was hyperventilating badly. The gem fell from his slack fingers and his hand reached up to latch onto the material of his suit jacket.

**It's been two years, hasn't it Kaito? Why haven't you been able to find it?**

"S-stop, please. I'm sorry, I'm sorry." He shook his head again in a futile attempt to appease the voice.

**I'm not sure you deserve to carry on my legacy.**

He was falling. The nauseating feeling in his stomach that came with the fall was never ending and it was making the world spin.

**You're a real failure, aren't you? Even Aoko has found someone else. You're alone, Kaito.**

He clenched his eyes shut. He was-

A loud bang forced him to open his eyes again.

Shit!

He turned towards the open door to his left.

The task force!

He cursed to himself and stumbled to his feet in a clumsy manner.

He couldn't let them see his pathetic face.

He had barely made a meter away when a voice spoke up, cutting through the cold air.

"Kid?"

He paused.

Meitantei.

Kudo Shinichi.

"Y-yo, tantei-kun. Fancy seeing you here. I thought you were skipping out on my heist tonight." He was glad his voice only held a slight tremor. Hopefully not significant enough for the detective to notice.

He heard Kudo sigh and close the door after walking onto the roof.

"I wasn't planning on it. But a case came up on the way here."

Kid heard the detective mutter profanities under his breath and gave a shaky laugh. He watched the condensation disappear into the air before continuing.

"My my, sounds like your day was far from perfect."

He could feel the aura of annoyance coming from Kudo and decided that it was probably time to go home.

Home. All alone.

**Pathetic.**

"I'm sure my day would end perfectly if you hand the jewel back, Kid."

He stiffened and stared down at the necklace that was still looped around his hand.

"R-right...of course." He cleared his throat and turned around, poker face on.

He held out the necklace steadily and stared straight at the detective.

"Of course you can have it back, meitantei! Consider it a Christmas gift from me. After all, i-it isn't the one that I'm looking for." His arm wavered slightly.

_It never is._

Because he wasn't good enough. He wasn't on his dad's level. If he were, he would've found it immediately. It wouldn't have taken two fruitless years of chasing gem after gem. Failing each and every time! A pathetic brat that can't make his father proud! He was-

"Kid?"

His voice was so close that he looked up and took a step back with a jump.

Kudo had been inches away from his face.

"Oh my~ so close t-tantei-kun." He forced his dark thoughts into a corner of his mind and prayed that the voice wouldn't speak.

**Why? So he won't find out how screwed up in the head you are?**

"You're crying." Kudo stated matter-of-factly.

"Eh?" He blinked and felt it.

The warm trail of tears sliding down his cheeks in contrast to the icy wind.

"A-ah t-this? This isn't-" He attempted to grin through the blurriness and he was failing.

The mask was breaking.

**How pathetic, Kaito**.

His chest was heaving up and down as another attack started. Sweat dripped down his forehead as he continued backing away from Kudo.

_Don't let him see your weakness. Get away._ He told himself, swallowing even though his throat was bone dry.

The world was spinning again and he felt nauseous. His knees knocked against each other as he struggled to stay upright. The voice was ever taunting and the mocking filled his mind.

**When will you find pandora? When will you stop the organization? When will you stop disappointing me?**

"Breathe in." He heard the detective's voice besides him and winced, expecting a touch.

But Kudo didn't touch him. Instead, his hand was hovering above the thief's shoulder in a reassuring manner.

"Now breathe out." Kudo instructed again and Kid listened without a second thought. He wanted to breathe. He needed air. He needed it so badly.

"Breathe in again, hold it and count to five...good...now let it out."

This went on for a few minutes before Kid could finally feel his heart rate slow. The voice was a dull ring in his ears.

"...Thank you..." He said awkwardly, not daring to look the detective in the eye.

_He's probably disgusted at me..._

He spared a glance and froze when he saw the concern in the Kudo's eyes.

The hovering hand finally made it's way down and landed gently on Kid's shoulder. He kept it there when the thief didn't make a move to remove it.

"Are you alright?"

His breath hitched again when he stared into those piercing blue eyes.

"I..." He turned away and his eyes fell on the gem. "Ne meitantei...have you ever wished for something so bad...like really really desperately?"

There was a pause. The hand on his shoulder twitched.

"...Yeah."

"Every time you get close, your hopes get up. You really think...you really think that you have it this time! But then!...But then..." He let out a quivering breath and the hand tightened slightly, urging him to continue.

"That hope just...shatters."

His words were met with silence and he waited nervously.

_He's probably going to brush your stupid fears aside. Yeah...that's right. He's a detective, he wouldn't care about your problems anyways...I'm just being stupid._

"I understand."

He looked at the detective incredulously.

"You...do?"

"How do you think being Conan for two years felt?" Kudo gave a small smile and Kid couldn't help but return it.

**He's just patronizing you...**

The voice whispered and he stiffened.

_Ah...so that's it. He doesn't really care...he's just shocked by my break of character...he doesn't really care..._

His heart fell and looked away.

"M-my apologies, tantei-kun. You didn't have to stay here and listen to my ramblings. They were stupid anyways. I-I'm going to take my leave now-"

The detective grasped the hand holding the necklace gently, slowly raising it. Kudo's other hand caressed his cheek, tilting his head forward.

_Eh...?_

Their lips met.

His eyes went wide for a moment and he heard nothing.

His mind was silent. The voice was gone.

Everything was replaced with Kudo.

Just Kudo.

Kudo's soft lips that pressed against his own chapped ones.

He stares ahead right at the detective but the detective's eyes remained closed. He felt his own flutter shut in response.

The detective's tongue poked at his lips curiously, asking for permission to do more.

He allowed it.

Given consent, the other teen grew more confident. The grip on his chin loosened and the hand trailed up the back of Kid's neck-_shivers travelled down his spine-_and tangled into his hair. The top hat fell off as the detective pulled the thief closer to deepen the kiss.

The hot tongue explored inch of his mouth and the fingers in his hair massaged just the right spots. The spicy scent of peppermint and pine assaulted his sense of smell and he moaned into the kiss. Did peppermint and pine always smell so good?

The detective pulled away with a pop as their mouths separated. Their heavy breathing filled the air.

Kid just stared, open-mouthed and flushed in the face.

"W-wha but you-and then-but...what?" He was blubbering like an incoherent idiot.

The detective just chuckled and gestured to their intertwined hands.

"It's tradition isn't it?"

"What...?" He looked up at the necklace he and Kudo were both holding high up in the air.

The gem..Mistletoe...mistleto-OH.

He pulled his hand away immediately and looked back at the detective with wide eyes.

He could fell his cheeks burning as blood rushed to his face all at once.

"Y-y-you!" He lifted a hand to cover his swollen lips and grasped for his fallen top hat.

The detective snickered and Kid plopped the top hat back on his head, yanking it down as far as he could.

"It's a present! A present!" Kudo laughed out loud at the thief's antics. He sobered up quickly and gently grabbed onto Kid's hand again.

"It may not be what you are hoping for...but...I hope you liked it." He smiled softly and squeezed his hand.

"What I'm trying to say is...don't give up, Kid. I didn't and look at me. I'm back. It took me a while and there were times when I really...really wanted to quit." The detective's melancholic eyes glazed over for a moment as if reminiscing. He blinked and looked back at the thief.

"But I didn't. Then I was able to defeat the bad guys. I was able to turn back...so don't give up. You'll find what you're looking for."

"...Tantei-kun, do you kiss someone every time you make a motivational speech?"

"What? N-no! Of course not, idiot!" The detective's expression was priceless and he couldn't help but snicker.

"I get it! I get it...thank you...Shinichi." The name felt unfamiliar and awkward on his tongue. But...he liked it.

The detective smiled and nodded.

"Alright then, it's pretty late now. It's already passed twelve." He glanced at his watch.

"Ah, so Christmas is here!" Kid got up, glad that his legs weren't trembling anymore. The kiss had taken his mind off other things, he thought with another flush.

"I wish I could hang around longer but Ran's having a Christmas bash and she sorta commandeered my house to hold it." He rolled his eyes and Kid smiled at the image.

"I promised that I'd go help her and her boyfriend set up...you will be alright?" He asked with the most sincere expression Kid had ever seen.

"Of course I will be, meitantei. I'm the Kaitou Kid!" He grinned confidently.

**No...You don't deserve the titl-**

_I do._

**...You haven't been able to to find-**

_I know. But I will...I'm not going to give up. I will make my father proud._

**...**

"Kid?"

He jumped out of his thoughts and grinned. Christmas party huh...if he remembered correctly...

"I actually have somewhere to be as well! So I'll be fine. You should go to the party and make sure your house is still standing!" He snickered when Shinichi paled at the thought. He leaned forward, his forehead pressed against the detective's.

"Thank you...really." He whispered.

Then he stepped back.

And disappeared.

Shinichi blinked at the empty roof. He turned his head back and forth, looking for any sign of the sneaky thief.

No...he sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. He was alone.

He let out a breath and stared up at the full moon.

"I hope you'll be able to find what you're looking for. But...for now..." He paused, hesitating momentarily as he looked around the roof one for time.

"...For now, I hope I am good enough." He finished quickly, a small blush gracing his sharp features.

His only answer was the howling wind.

"Alright then..." He coughed, turning towards the door.

"Time to save my house."

* * *

><p>"There you are, Shinichi! Where the hell were you? Kisa-san and I have been waiting for you!" The nineteen year old girl scowled when Shinichi walked into the house.<p>

"You shouldn't be talking. You've taken my house hostage." The detective scowled, stepping over popcorn garlands and ornaments that littered the floor.

"Hello, Kudo-san." Kisa Satoshi waved from where he was hanging red and green streamers on the staircase.

"Kisa-san." Shinichi smiled in acknowledgment. The young man was in the same major as Ran. They had hit it off quite nicely during a college tour. They had officially started dating several months ago.

Kisa was an intelligent guy that was serious about Ran. He had Shinichi's blessing; he knew Kisa would take great care of her.

"Hattori and Kazuha are already in the kitchen. They said they'd make s'mores."

"Oi oi, they better not burn down the house. My mom will kill me."

"Sonoko said she'll be here with Makoto-san in fifteen minutes, so start hanging the garlands!"

"Making me do all this work." Shinichi muttered and bent down to pick up the wreaths and tape.

"Ah Aoko-chan said she'll be here any minute now too. Mou, we should've started setting up earlier."

"Aoko? You've never mentioned her before."

"I was partners with her for a project a week ago! We hit it off really well! She's coming with her boyfriend and childhood friend-"

"BaKaito! It's all your fault. Hakuba-kun and I had to wait for you this entire time."

"Shut up Ahouko..."

The two turned towards the door.

"Aoko-chan!" Ran grinned and embraced the other girl.

"Ran-chan! Merry Christmas!"

"Great to see you, Ran-san." The British detective nodded politely before turning to Shinichi.

"Hakuba Saguru, it's a pleasure to finally meet you, Kudo Shinichi-san."

"Hakuba Saguru...I've heard of you. The pleasure is mine." Shinichi smiled. His gaze wandered to the other teen trailing behind the couple and he froze.

"Ah! That's my idiotic childhood friend. Come on, introduce yourself!" Aoko nudged her friend with a smile and the teen scowled before turning to stare at Shinichi.

There was a pause when lilac eyes met azure ones.

He smiled and extended his hand. A puff of smoke and flowers were in his hands.

"I'm Kuroba Kaito, nice to meet you!"

The detective stared down at the flowers.

A deep pink rose, a snowdrop and a red rose.

Gratitude...hope and...

Shinichi smiled and took the offered flowers.

"Kudo Shinichi, nice to meet you too."

**It's finished *cries over the fact that I didn't finish it before Christmas.***

**Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! *hugs for everyone* Reviews are appreciated and will be treated as presents ^^ **


End file.
